Hey, did you see her? That girl in the picture? Yeah, I like her. She gets to do cool stuff.
Ok, is it just me or have you ever – and I mean ever – gone to the grocery store and thought “Dear God I wish I could eat absolutely any and everything I feel like eating in this sacred food storage sanctuary.” Last night that woman in that picture heard those exact words. Ok, not those exact words – but thats what it sounded like to her. I’ll get to that in a minute.
Let me tell you what else this chick gets to do. She gets PAID to smile and wave. Her skin is always airbrushed to perfection and her clothes are selected by a stylist. She has a tiny team of hyper active people chasing her around ensuring that not even one hair falls out of place. Last night I got to be that chick in the picture you see above.
A.) That lady up top was paid enough money to buy this - Holy Moly – I can’t wait for this check to arrive!
B) She and 9 other models pranced around Safeway pretending to be deeply tickled by loaves of bread, crisp bell peppers and lunch meat while a team of photographers captured it all on film.
It was nothing out of ordinary for us. Models are weird like that. We show up to random places – in this case a grocery store in the suburbs at 8 p.m. and start taking off our clothes, channeling our alter egos and applying on false lashes. Everything was going as planned. We were all ready to play make believe and then something amazing and cruel happened all at the same time.
Gary or Tony or Mark – I can never remember our handlers names came out and addressed us all.
“Ok, thank you so much for being here, we’ve got a lot of work to do… blah blah blah… Feel free to select anything you’d like to eat in the store but please be sure and leave the wrapper at the table near Starbucks so Safeway can charge us later. blah blah blah (the sweet music in my ears was so overwhelming that I blanked out until I heard him say this) and I know your call sheet originally said we may be done at midnight but it looks more like 6 a.m.” (the sweet music was promptly chased away by screaming heavy metal – nooooooo)…
Um, yep – that’s exactly what happened.
Let me explain to you what kind of model I am. The kind that eats. Let me break down the kind of models I kick it with. The kind that eat. The revelation that we would all spend the night in a grocery store – near the cold refrigerated section – wearing spring-time attire was just too much to bear. Soup was necessary, chocolate was required, coconut water transported us to a tropical fantasy, expensive cheese was just enough to keep us from the brink of despair – not to mention the pending payment.
Yep, it’s a good life. But it’s all smoke and mirrors – baby smoke and mirrors. So at 6 a.m. this morning – I transformed back into the chick I was the day before.
The one who takes iPhone pics in cubicle number 4 at my day job.
I sincerely hope this post made a smidget (is that a word) of sense. I wore my Marketing Manager cape from 8 a.m. – 4 p.m. yesterday and then popped into a tiny phone booth and slipped on my model cape form 8 p.m. – 6 a.m. and then hot dang it if I didn’t turn right around and throw that Marketing Manager cape back on today from 9 a.m. – OK, let’s be real I was good to no one at work today. Oh, I tried – and failed. Something about working without sleep for 2 days straight and squeezing in all the cooking and cleaning and picking up of kids and dropping off of kids and…
Let’s just say I earned my bed tonight. Good night… Yes, indeed it is.